Day 329: Twinges of jealousy

I am not perfect. Whew I'm glad I got that out of the way. As a human, I fall short and sometimes am a victim to human thoughts, like jealousy. The green-eyed monster. My BF laughs because regarding him, I hardly ever get jealous, but when I do (I think just twice in 2.5 years), I can bring the wrath. There exists in one's life a healthy jealous feeling. You know not the kind where someone is flirting with your man and you go over to snatch her, but more the envy you feel that allows you to feel a sense of competition and do better in your world.  I have felt the twinge of jealousy a little more often lately for a couple of reasons.

Reason #1: Costa Rica
When people talk about Costa Rica, I puff up with pride. This is my homeland, where I have felt the most comfortable. My beaches, my fruit, my family, my friends. It has been so far, the defining moment of my life. The epitome of my adulthood and the reason for almost every aspect of my life: my hair, how I dress, what I like to eat, my giving spirit.
When people talk about going to MY Costa Rica, the one that didn't have American tourists, the one where no English was spoken, the one without American restaurants (except McDs) were we drink Fanta or Fresca instead of Coke and the Coke was made out of sugar cane anyways. Where we ate the most delicious Cheetos made in country and shared food and life stories with taxi drivers. YOUR MINE!

Reason #2: Engagements/ Newlyweds
When I see happily engaged or newly married couples or even just couples in love, I feel the twinge. So funny because I don't necessarily want to be them right now, but I do want to be where they are. I envy the commitment they have, and even envy that they can be with their loved ones whenever they wish.  I suppose this is the same when I see gorgeous babies and I want them!

Reason #3: Pregnant women
I recently realized that I do not want to be pregnant anytime soon. It does not look fun like it does in the movies. It is restricting (diet), your face starts to spread, and expensive. But what I do want is the moment that a pregnant woman has with her husband*, where he is helpful and they are both glowing because they are starting a family together. I recently saw this and it was heartwarming (the twinge was still there). I want that attention, love, and feelings of togetherness and at the end of it you get a beautiful baby, (in my Kanye voice) Who has that?

What makes you jealous?

*Yes, I said husband, Duly noted that you might not do it this way, but it is the only way I will be! (God willing)