I knew you weren't from around here

"Ha, the first time I saw you....I knew you weren't from around here, who wears a sundress to the club? I said to myself either she is new here or she is visiting someone. Man, I'm so happy that you walked in here today not dressed like that anymore."

Ha, can you believe a guy actually said this statement to me. He said it as a compliment. I look better now than I did. He also says things like "you don't look like you'd be the type to wear sneakers."

What?!?! Now there are people who like to wear sneakers really. I want shoes lol who cares what they are. (only in my opinion, i know some people are die hards)

I have been a non-conformist as long as I can remember, and when he said that comment, how I don't look like everyone else I wanted to scream. The scream would have been something like "You really think I'm worried about what you all wear down here, and want to dress like everybody else?"

But I shrugged it off, who cares about his opinion really, now if this opinion came from somebody I thought was important like the fashion designer Mikasa La'Charles, for example....maybe I would re-look at my "fashion sense."

I was looking through the Essence website at hot looks from DC (I think howard's hc) and I absolutely love noticing that no one looks alike! No one has the same style, no one has on the same colors or earrings, or anything. And I think it looks amazing. Let's all have our own style, our own look that we can bring to enhance fashion, to enhance life you know!

Flavor, individuality, different, = beauty!

I mean I rocked a sundress everyday over the summer like I was headed to the beach instead of a concrete jungle and an office with no windows.


Be fly! Happy Homecoming, Halloween and happiness!

Check out the pics below!

http://photos.essence.com/galleries/street-style-hair-howard-universitys-homecoming


 

Be a responsible citizen and vote.

YAY! I voted yesterday and it felt great! It is so important to take the time (and it did not take long) and be a part of a decision that affects you. Now I know people are getting a bit feudish about what side they are on, getting rid of friends momentarily because they are not on the same side of the vote, but in my opinion that is silly. NOW, the people you have the right to be bothered by or at least the ones I bothered by, are the ones who thinks its funny to talk about how they aren't gonna vote. AND SAY IT ALOUD! really!! Why would you be so stupid to be proud of that decision. It's sad really, and also sad because there is no excuse for it. I pretty much have to let you out of my life at that point. Truly, others things that bug me to no in is the "I don't know how I graduated from college"* laugh....i literally shudder and other things were people sound like they are proud of being dumb.

DO NOT BE DUMB, GET OUT AND VOTE, (do it early if your state does....NC does :)

*if you are older and successful when you say this, the sting is less, but don't waste education, it is so expensive!

Is the days of "dates" dead?

I had the most interesting conversation after about the men asking women on dates. I had been thinking in my own personal life, it had been a minute since a man asked me out on a date. Now I know that it is the recession, men don't have enough extra cheddar to be taking these women out. But do you think that is it?

Do you think it is possible that men aren't taking women out because not all women require it anymore? Sure, there are "traditional"* girls who still want a man to be respectful, ask them out, get to know them, but then there are others, who don't mind just hanging out at his house until hanging out at his house turns into hanging out in his bedroom.

FIRST and FOREMOST, no judgment. I'm not saying that sometimes that doesn't happen to the traditional girl as well, but all the time....uh, no.

So I went to my leading guy in doing everything he can to avoid being in a relationship/avoid having someone who can call him "hers"...Boo! Yes, I still talk to Boo. Yes, he still talks to me freely about everything and patiently answers all my questions. Yes, sometimes I get on his last nerve with my need for a fairy tale love and relationship, and he gets on my nerves talking about if you don't have to try, then why try stories. But deep somewhere, it works (or maybe it doesn't and I ignore it....(sings Nobody's perfect....))

Naturally Beautiful Me (as Reporter): Boo, when is the last time that you have taken a girl on a date to get to know her?

Boo: Uhhh, you, 2009.

Me: What are you serious? I was your last date? But I'm assuming this hasn't affected you meeting women...

Boo: Not at all.

Men are still getting exactly what they want...Date or no date. And where are women? Well, the ones who stand up for what is right, are out of luck.... [of course in the fairy tale, they wait patiently and then "the one" asks them out and it works happily ever after] The ones who go to their house and hangout...well they get something, too.... just not a date.

 Can we change men's behavior? LOL my only advice, is in the words of Tracey Jordan from 30 Rock, "Stop eating french fries out of the trash, have some respect pigeon, don't you know you can fly?"   
LOL, let me paraphase, Have some respect women, don't you know that we deserve better and if we all demand it, we will get it. (lets form a union).

 

Black positivity on TV!

Naturally Beautiful Me has always had a love for seeing Black positivity. Every movie (I never got to a blog about The Beasts of The Southern Wild, but Oh LORD! If I would have), every post on a blog, every television show, every actress, every book that showcased Black people showed in a positive manner, I was going to see it, have it, get it!

So check out Steel Magnolias, with 99.9% of all my favorite positive women in media (Congratulations to them for having so many viewers! I hope Lifetime realizes there is an untapped viewers Black women, my age who want to see positive displays of sisterhood)

From Essence:
http://www.essence.com/2012/10/09/steel-magnolias-breaks-lifetime-ratings-records

 I also enjoyed the Carlina White Story that came on after it on lifetime. I think KeKe Palmer is amazing.

http://www.channelguidemagblog.com/index.php/2012/10/04/abducted-the-carlina-white-story-lifetime/

Also to Shonda Rhimes, still keeping us thrilled with Grey's Anatomy and Scandal!


And to Shonda, who had the good sense to pair with one of my favs!! Issa Rae, so one of her shows will make it to the tv screen. Check it out here
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/02/shonda-rhimes-issa-rae-abc-comedy-series_n_1932515.html


I am so excited and happy! keep up the good work!
 

Dont' worry

Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Jesus Christ.

Phillipians 4:6-7

Blog in-Review

After hearing some "grumble, grumbles" about my possibly negative notes on my blog, I took a bit of time and went through a lot of my blog posts. I was extremely happy in hearing my voice, hearing myself take a stance on certain things, understanding my emotions at different parts of the year, feeling my highs and lows, and knowing that I was always trying. Now that I have a bit more time on my hand, I will do all those things that I said that I would do if I have time. This time will not go to waste.

But I also saw a lot of hurt, a lot of pain for awhile, but I also see the emergence of something stronger. I see a lot about  Boo, a lot about Ex, a lot of friends, and lots of lots of Naturally Beautiful's positive praise, growth, pointed opinions, Black love and other things she falls in love with.

I want to keep writing to get a snapshot of my life, my true feelings, my hurt, my pains, my triumphs, my travels, and my true loves.

 Cheers~!

Goal setting theory: Finding like-minded individuals in NC

I have been learning a lot, a lot, a lot in my MBA classes, it is great for ambition to learn all about goal setting, developing your brand, and getting what you want from yourself and for others.

So I've decided to take some apply it to the real world. Goal setting theory, is the theory that you will be more successful with an explicit goal, rather than a vague do your best.

MY first personal goal for moving to a new area is to meet likeminded individuals. One of my greatest adjustments to moving to a new place is finding people who value what I value, like to do things that I like, and genuinely care and want to be my friends. I know it takes awhile, but step one is to find people. So that is what I am doing.

Finding groups, volunteer activities, and more people like me.

Wish me luck!

Two words to describe my experience in MBA program so far: ubiquitous and stochastic.

Ubquitious and Stochastic.

Two words that I hear almost every single day in my MBA program. Oh and discover your brand, but that another topic for another blog.

For those of you who don't have your dictionaries out here it is

ubiquitous: all-encompassing,seeming to be everywhere at once, omnipresent.

stochastic: random, varying

I have heard both words in a variety of classes on a variety of topics, from the mouths of many Ph.D professors. This could be about brand management, marketing, operations management, economy of business decisions, it is well ubiquitous. And I sat up late one night, (many nights) I realized with a jump, my MBA program is both ubiquitous and stochastic. Why you ask? Well everything we learn about in class, has real life applications and so in every point of my day, I know what business school would tell me to do about meeting someone, business school would tell me how to tackle a busy schedule, or homework, or even friendship. Now, this information is worth every penny (and believe me it's a lot of pennies) but I do feel like I am receiving a leg up from other employees in the business world. And so my MBA learning is ubiquitious.

Stay with me now. The crazy great part of the program is in life you work a "8:30-5", you know sometimes you will be busy and sometimes you won't be as busy, but have you ever tested the limits? Do you know exactly how much you can achieve? Do you know what stress will cause you to break down? Could you do a paper, a test, prepare two cases, and two articles all for one 3 hour class? Would you still be prepared for the next class? What are your limits?

So now we've come to the stochastic part. Sometimes there will be a week where there is nothing due, you look at your organizer over and over incredulously looking for what you missed, but nothing is there. But then you have weeks were you are not sure if it will ever end. You have so much stuff to complete and on a deadline. You're not even sure that you will make it. But you do. Stochastic.

Can you handle extreme variation, can you handle something that may change the core of how you live your everyday life? Can you take the MBA program?

 

When the Ex calls

 When the ex calls, it's like clockwork on deja vu. You vaguely remember this happening before, yet your heart is so happy, you block it out. The Essence Matchmaker once wrote about the man who calls his ex to tell her she was right, he never should have left her, ignored her, hurt her, stole from her, etc. (You get the picture...) But the real reason he called his ex is just to see if he could still get with her. Women moan and lament over it, why play with my heart strings?

Simple answer ladies, his ego.

I wish sometimes I would be smart enough to mark when it begins on my calendar like it's that horrible time of the month (isn't it though?)

This time when it happened he brought along to the story a intercontinental relationship with a girl that he hasn't seen or gone out with in years. He's coming to visit her, but he wonders if he could come and see me too.

My heart considers it, toys with the idea, perhaps even sinks back to the good times of a good man that loves you and understands you and is there for you forever. I listen to my girls complain about the ways their men or ex-men treat them, and he sounds even better.

But then your mind taps your heart on the shoulder, WAKE UP idiot, think about this in real time. And so you stop and think, you, your heart, and mind, all in one accord.

And you realize he's not asking for love, relationship, or forever, so you tell him it's not going to happen, but we can be friends. And then the "when you wake up" calls and the "before you go to bed" calls, the nightly skype sessions, and the "are you busy" text messages cease almost immediately.

So you mark your calendar that it's done, frown and wait for its return.