Day 218: DC people talk: There is this *new* place called the Shenandoah Valley

The "new" thing/weekend activity for people in the DMV area is to go to the Shenandoah Valley to relax. I have now heard from three completely different people in DC about taking trips to Western VA to go camping, hiking, kayaking and other outdoor sport activities and to have a great simple weekend in the country. Have you heard of this place they ask me?

LOL try my life. Guess where I grew up close to? Well a little more to the west, the real mountains and real relaxed and beautiful, spectacular outdoors. Everyone is talking about it like it has never existed before, well maybe just not in their lives. Now I know how Native Americans felt when they met Christopher Columbus. OH, bother.....

Day 219: Sexy Lady (go-go remix)

I was driving home from the gym when "Sexy Lady" (go-go remix) came on. Immediately, my lips curl into a smile and I start dancing to the music. This song still reminds me of the good times from what seems like a world ago, from the first DC I met. This was to be my wedding song, my first "fun" song to dance to with a man I once thought would become my husband. When we first met, this song was the soundtrack for two broke kids in love with the National Mall and the Washington Monument as their background. (how Spike Lee). The song reminds me of our spring/summer together, when we were also together, always simple, dancing, singing, laughing. We would come home from work and walk to the track, I would walk as he begs me to run, and he would run while I would beg him to walk.

Welcome summer.

Clip below:

Day 220: My TV personality

Remember when there used to be all those magazine quizzes talking about "who is your tv personality?"

I was watching The Wonder Years (Yay Netflix!) and the oldest girl, I think her name is Karen, was a free wildchild that reminded me of me. She disappeared often, yelled at her parents about being close-minded, and dated a lot of men and dressed just like a hippie. I thought I'm like a Black "Karen", then I realized that would be Denise on the Cosby Show.

Growing up, I acted just like her, but also wanted to be just like her. (Just now realizing that I'm older than her now...sad day) I wanted to go Hillman, so I went to as close to the campus as I could. I wanted Dwayne Wayne to be my friend (uhhh have you ever seen pictures of my ex?). I wanted to have a big family, be a crazy fashion forward dresser, paint half my face, but not the other half.  I wanted to go to Africa, meet a military man, and get married on a hill with goat herders, and a ring of flowers in my hair. (Instead, I went to Honduras for Peace Corps, met a military man, and will still definitely do that marriage thing.) I went natural for Denise, wanted curls like Denise, went bohemian for Denise.

The only difference was I was definitely not dropping out of college, but like her I had so many interests beyond college that sometimes, I felt like I was zigzagging back and forth.

Here's to you Denise! Still trying to be like you! So fly.

Day 221: Is there really such a thing as an inside cat?

My roommate has a cat. The cat is an inside cat. He doesn't go outside. But he does sit in the windows and look longingly, but slightly scared when I open the door to leave. I think this cat wants to go outside. Who really wants to cooped up all the time? You know. I'm tempted. I won't, but if I had a little leash on something, I would sneak him outside. What's the worse that could happen? (one hundred bad things run through my head...)

Day 222: Have you ever gone on your ex's Facebook page to see who they dating now?

I mean, come on....Haven't we all done it at least once? If not, well dang kudos to you! I'm not even gonna lie, I have done it, maybe to more than one ex. Now mind you, I don't do it to the most current ex, now that can be painful, nope. I am more likely to do it to the one before the one before the one. What am I searching for? Never will anyone admit it, but don't you breathe a sigh of relief when the girl (or guy) is uglier than you? Or in someway less than you.

Whhhheeeeeewwwwww.....

I did it. Okay.

One time Facebook was so ridiculous, that I was able to see an ex of mine's wedding pictures, and he was not on facebook and we had no friends in common. (I was randomly friends with his best man at the wedding, who I never met before and probably friended him before he was a friend of my ex...that's the small world stuff that only happens in DC.) That is when I decided to start putting filters on my pictures.

LOL please use this time to say, your girl is crazy...... (This makes me wonder if any exes, read my blog...lol I'm not really Facebook friends with many exes, but if you do, send me a Facebook message)

Back to your regularly scheduled program....

Day 223: 50 shades of grey through my eyes...

I first heard about 50 shades of grey right after the Hunger Games trilogies, it was the next must read. Ooo...I heard about what it was about and all the rumors of page after page of gratuitous sex, and erotica.

So when I saw my aunt was reading it and she gushed over the whole series, she handed me one. So I picked up and read it.

My opinion???  that wasn't erotica, that was just sad, sadistic and wrong. How do they really try to make that a love story? Spoiler Alert: The story is about a billionaire that meets a virgin and tries to make her the submissive in his DOM/SUB relationship, because those are the only ones he does. And he keeps beating her and telling her that she will soon like it, and she keeps flipping out, because he is beating her (sexually). That is traumatic, can you imagine what your next relationship will be after him? Uhhhhhh.

I sent this exact paragraph to Boo, and though I won't share his response verbatim, he hinted that violence is also sexually attractive, and that this is just another way. I'm skeptical right now, but I understand his point. I also mentioned that I had read much better pieces of erotica if that is what is meant to be. He took it to some completely other place loll...because I mentioned that erotica by African American authors are better, and he said is that something we should really be proud of? Noted....

Will I read the other two? Probably not. Would I want to see the movie?  Probably not. Will I remember the characters name a week from now? Nope. But I did enjoy the relationship between Elliot and her roommate.

But Congratulations on the success of the author!

Day 224: If I had kids, I wouldn't be able to do any of that stuff...I'd rather have kids

Every now and then I have a talk with my dad about the accomplishments of families, friends, and roommates. I am always super proud and my dad is too! To hear of them getting better jobs, higher titles, more pay, more responsibilities and more travel, is a wonderful thing. It all seems to start to come together when they are in their 30s, single, no kids....suddenly they surge ahead. My dad always says that could happen to you. You are on your way to that level.

And I always devastate him. I don't want that if I have my choice, I want to be married with babies, and women who have babies and maternity leave, leaving early for children, not having their job as their first priority, they don't get ahead...they actually fall behind.

I'd love to have both...but if I choose...I want the husband and babies.

Day 225: Gossiping, complaining, and getting along with women

I was not in a good mood when I came back to work after a long vacation. Nope, nope, nope, my patience for BS was low and my smile was more like a sneer.

And boy did I have women friends that week. I think generally I am an upbeat person, sometimes I can complain, sometimes I am not happy, you know the usual. But often I don't complain enough to be part of the in-crowd of certain groups of women. You know the kind I'm talking about the pair of aunties who judge you when you are successful, criticize you dress, your kids, your husband, everything, whether things are going wrong or not.

And they generally have nothing going on, or are unhappy and trying others who are, misery loves company.

Well, I'm not going to miserable! Back to optimistic, blessed me!

Day 226: I can't wait until my hair is long enough to pineapple

Dear permies, straight hair, White people, Jewish people, etc,

You don't understand this, but it is when you put your curly hair at the top of your head at night or to work out (or anytime!), so your curls can stay for days. I see people are pineappling multiple knots for short hair....no...noo.....I want this kind. (below)

It is also the "in" look for girls these days.

Here is a visual below:

Day 227: Can we talk about the "B" word?

There are two words that make me shudder all the way down to my inner soul. You these words are wrong mostly because of the tone and malice that they are conveyed in. People try to dress both words up, make them acceptable in some form or even a term of endearment, I'm not buying it.

The "n" word and the "b" word.

I can't stand for either word to be said in my presence whether discussing people, positive or negative, and never towards me.

I recently asked someone to stop calling another person the "b" word malicely, and she called me a "goody two-shoes". Ha, does that still work? Nope, they knew they were wrong and now they felt the guilt.

I've been serving up guilt pie all week, hope it doesn't bite me back.

Day 228: You sir or madam, are almost 30 and living from paycheck to paycheck

Ahem* Cough**Loser**

Okay, something must be said for the person that I encounter far too often... the almost 30 year old living paycheck to paycheck. Now of course, I wouldn't blanket statement everyone, this is the the

"I've had a good job mostly since college, I am not paying for my student loans, I have no kids, or family that I am paying for but yet I'm surprised every 2 weeks when my bank account hits zero, I'm still trying to hang out with my friends who make the same amount as me, but ask to go to Taco Bell, because I don't have enough money for Panera.

EVER

Mind you I even know someone who pays nothing for rent, has no car, no car insurance, full access to free food, basically everything they are making pure profit and still get the red often.

What? Really? How?

And are the first people talking about oh no I have to save my money.

You sir or ma'am, are a LOSER!

Day 229: I almost scrapped this whole project

No, seriously I had been thinking about disbanding my blog for awhile, but someone would comment on it or someone telling to keep writing, someone asking me to discuss what was going on with one of my posts.

So I continued...

But when I returned from my month of trips (May), I wasn't in to it. Maybe I was still in relaxation/vacation mode, but I thought it was over.

So much so that I sent this email to my number 1 confidante/Boo/possible male mental equivalent, but like people say I think too much...he thinks too much.

But in the words of Awkward Black Girl, "he gets me."

This is actually what I said,
" i think the blog may be discontinued.....i know you will be disappointed. but i have achieved what i wanted, and what i thought i needed (a man) i know isnt going to happen anytime soon, at least not correctly, any more Girl Lisa will make her look like a ho, i don't even want to hear my opinion on things (or possibly I dont care to give my opinion) i just want to listen for awhile (which is how you are tasked with an email).."

And then it hit me, 10 unique thoughts for posts, and my cousin telling me she reads them. And so I will continue...

Now you will see a change. I will keep a number of posts, but may not always do them in chronological order, and I will change my purpose.

Day 230:Travelling on my birthday/where's the cake?

So I learned a lesson this year for the first time ever, I traveled on my birthday, not a short trip starting at 5 am, one layover, one delayed plane, one tropical storm, one long car ride from the airport, arriving at 7 pm, just wanting to eat and sleep, BIRTHDAY OVER....

Never again! People you know I love my bday, the best day for attention, ridiculous hats and the generous love of strangers.

And....getting a cake is a big deal for me. This is the first year that I got no cake (Lol remembering last year I had something like 50 cupcakes)

I want a cake, Dairy Queen ice cream cake preferably. I will be ready for next year.

What you gonna have? Cake

Day 231:Birthday week....day 8

Yea I know weeks only have 7 days, but so what? This is my world! For birthday day 8, I was greeted by this lovely sign at my desk, decorated with stickers and other beautiful things. Tonight, Im getting more cupcakes! yum, then driving to pick up my mom and sister at the train station...Tomorrow morning, I'm getting on the plane set, for food, drinks and sunshine in DR!

See ya on the other side!

Day 232: Birthday week....day 7

Moving right along, today my co-workers took me out for my bday celebration after work at Cafe Citron, and I got a pretty bday drink and some delicious food. Then I snuck off to Eastern Market to continue the party there...

day 233: Birthday week.....day 6

Day 6, I was full of energy! So I lead my co-workers to $1 smoothie deal, and we were almost first in line. It was a lot of fun and a good break from work.

That night I went out with my Manic Monday friend, for her birthday at U street, stayed out way past happy hour, and got a ride to all the way to my house!! (for people who don't do the DC to VA commute, this was huge and great!)

yum!

the crew's colorful smoothies!

Day 234:Birthday week....day 5

Ok, kids so day 5, I had to take a break...remember I just got back from a huge trip, I went home unpacked, chilled.

I did have a great sit down lunch with co-workers (a rare treat in a get it to go kinda world!)

So here's a pic of one of my bday dresses....yay

Sorry its sideways, too lazy to get it right....

Day 235: Birthday week....day 4

So true to form, my oldest craziest girlfriend and I went out to Manic Mondays, kicking off my shot a day of tequila habit, for the week. (ONLY THIS WEEK). I have no pics, but it was pretty....pretty ugly!

I also got froZENyo, with my co-workers!

Love it!!

Day 236:Birthday week posts....Day 3

Please believe, no birthday would be complete without an abundance of ice cream. So here is ice cream pic, numero uno, which was free!

I also got to see a very good friend from college but that pic is already on facebook!

look how happy I am!

Day 237: Birthday week posts...Day 2

On Day #2, Same friend and I went to see 5 Year Engagement starring my future husband (or hers) Jason Segel, and then I got a free meal at silver diner!!

So I got a Bison Burger with the kitchen sink....avocado, cheese, mushrooms, bacon, fried egg, everything!!!!

No idea why this pic is upside down.

Day 238: Birthday Week posts... day 1

Join me in celebrating my Birthday week, I did an activity a day and in some cases two or three. Had a great time so far!!! Here you go

Birthday #1: Went to Sweet Lobby, for my obsession with any cupcake with burnt marshmallow frosting....My friend and I got Sweet Potato (delicious!!!! especially the middle!), then hit up Eastern Market happy hour.

these are so yummy!

Day 239: The New Girl similiarities

On my long plane ride, I had the great opportunity to catch up on my tv viewing. I watched  some episodes of the new girl, cause I like Zooey Deschannel a lot, though the show is a little lacking, but there on during the singing in the beginning, IS MY FAVORITE DRESS IN RED!!!

I love that dress, and watching the episodes, i absolutely love her style, because it is just like mine. It I could wear a fitted body, flare skirt dress everyday of my life, I absolutely would.













Love :)

Day 240: The breakfast diet and other craziness

In literally 4 days, I will be booty up in the sand, at the beach, while generally I use this time to get ready to look amazing. I haven't once thought about it, I'm still trying to get acclimated to being back and then I'll leave. Since it was so crazy in Bangladesh, often we only had one time a day to eat, so at 7 or 8 am, we would wake up and attempt to consume an entire day's worth of calories in one setting (this is not hard..btw) and by the end of the day, hopefully we burned it all off.

We jokingly called this "the breakfast diet"

Then as you are travelling there is a very long 10-12 hour period that you don't eat, because you are usually sleeping. But since you're awake, you're still not hungry, so you are really not eating that very often.

We call this "the travel diet"

When you return from whatever country, it is hard (and maybe this is just for me) to go from unprocessed, natural food, to a more processed food like we have here, preservatives, etc. this causes all the food I eat to come back out/up fairly quickly. And then it causes me to hesitate before putting more food in my mouth, because I don't want that feeling again. I actually lost 18 lbs when I returned from Honduras.

I call this "the returning to the states diet"

And because I'm not overweight, but just kinda jiggly, I decided 200 crunches a day will fix that in time for Saturday morning.

I call this "how long did it take you to get a 6 pack"

And the whole silly diet thing, trust I don't believe in, which calls me to call this whole craziness

"How long did DJ just eat ice cubes?" diet

silliness ensues.

Day 241: My dream final boo

I learned lots of lessons after watching the 5 year engagement, but most of all I have decided what my dream final boo turned fiance turned husband will be like. I mean I have thought about looks, education, how he is with children, but here are some things that I have missed.

1. I want him to be charming. I want him to make me smile. Do things because he loves me. Surprise me with good things from time to time. Be thoughtful.

2. I want him to be a Chef. I mean really what if my man could cook. I mean, I can cook, but what if he could really cook......Yes please. (although wouldn't he have to work nights then? excuse me while I think about that one some more)

3. Our love affair (aka dating but doesn't love affair sound better) would last a year and then he would creatively get down on one knee. And we would go about our married lives together!

Just ponderings.

Day 241: Bday wishlist: Crazy wish number one!!

You know what I wish? I wish for one day, a good day, important day when every single person I know see me that I am dressed by Jill Scott's stylist and have my hair done by her hairdresser. please please?

In her new video, Blessed (possible it's just new to me, but off her latest album), I'm loving the way they accentuate her curves, play down her big breasts while still showing them off, show that she got a bit of an hourglass and give her funky fun outfits to wear.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I am the worst at putting outfits together....i'd rather just wear things that come together (matched sets like for children) or wear a dress...one piece no matching. I can't even do sweaters for matching.

Also her hair is fly and different in every single frame....The blatant product placement for Ouidad, almost made me wanna get some.

You know?

Day 242: Baby fever

So as women, or maybe it's just me and certain movies, I'm having a bit of baby fever. This is not the first time so I know exactly how to get rid of it, but it is amazing how as you get older you can start to hear your biological clock tick. I see babies and feel this little ache in my heart. I know I'm not quite ready, so I will do what I always do, go borrow someone's baby.

Have you ever tried this? It is perfect solution to wanting a baby, after at the most one weekend, you will happily cherish all your baby-free time. While they are cute, the feeling goes away, especially when you're tired.

So I'm off to find a cute baby that will make me not want a baby for at least another year.

:) Be blessed.

Day 243: Fabolous Friday's: A story of booship: the moment revealed

Things have been moving positively since that night they met in VA Beach, Ramon enjoyed her company so much after he came to her house for the first date, that he returned the next two night for subsequent dates. She was enthralled by him. His 6ft, 1inch body, the small twists on his head trying to turn into locs, his athletic shaped body, but most of all his mind. Girl Lisa never got with the traditional college students at her school, she found them boring and not real, she chose instead to find real guys, who have seen the world and lived life, those a bit older and a bit wilder than the"we study for 10 hours a day, and our parents gave us everything we ever needed" boys on campus. What she wanted was a man. And what she got, she thought, was a man, someone on his own, not having to answer to anyone, teaching her what it was like to be a young adult on your own. (Girl Lisa, always liked military men best, because they traveled, had money, and often only got to stay around for a pre-determined time.)

Girl Lisa and Ramon dated all the way through the summer of that year. They enjoyed going to movies together and going out to dinner. After exiting the theater one night, to see Transformers together, Ramon's phone rang. He answered and began talking to the person on the phone about the movie.

"Hey ma, guess what movie we just went to see? Transformers, it was taped down the street from where we lived, I actually recognized some of the sites. Who we? Mom, me and Girl Lisa. Yea, Girl Lisa, my girlfriend. Come on, ma, I told you that. Anyways, I gotta go. Yea, I call you back later. Bye"

Girl Lisa, looked at Ramon with a slightly open mouth, he had never called her his girlfriend before and he had no idea that he spoke at her before. He hardly told his mother anything, so this was big. And it felt oddly good, very reassuring, as he grabbed her hand to intertwine with his, she thought, maybe this just might be something good.

Something love-ly.

Day 244: Cleared my head

I'm so happy to have that brief respite that I had, it gave me a great chance to clear my head. I'm so excited that I will soon take a new venture in life, one that would possibly put me closer to people that I more closely identify with. Or I might be with idiots, and country hicks....either one...ugh.

As I return I will have like restaurants call a "soft opening", a soft return. Who is there really that I will miss? Who do I hang out with when I am there? Who actually cares? Hmm.... Yea.....

The babies. The kiddies will miss me. Maybe a couple girls, but really not much.

Who do I really want to see? There's really only one person and he's not here. And I'm not convinced if he was here, then I would want to see him. (He has his DC personality and his other personality.

Well, I will stop wasting time, and start preparing for the future.

:)

Day 245: Man in the Mirror

Though I wanted this to be on a chronological time frame, I have nothing absolutely nothing left to say about my trip. It was great,  I learned a lot, glad it happened, happy that I was there instead of going to work everyday, happy to be busy. Let's move on.

The flights home....well, I  just couldn't seem to get it together...ever...sleep/eat/water, none of it, I was very glad to touch down in DC.

One bright spot is I saw the movie "Joyful Noise" with Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton, and Keke Palmer, (who I loved since Akellah and the Bee such a positive person)*....it was the same story of the over protective mom, and singing in a choir, going from church hymns, to new fresh music to win the competition.

I'm all about Queen Latifah directed movies (she has done a lot Just Wright, The Holiday, the one where she thought she was dying and LL Cool J was her boo) mostly because, well at least they are positive stories and they are not Tyler Perry-movie bad. LOL I told my sister this and she said but all those movies were bad too.
Well, bad is relative. Anyways back to the movie.

I loved the singing, got wrapped up in the storyline, loved the guy (he was a good actor), didn't understand the cuss words (sigh, am I becoming my mother), especially loved my boo from Rent, and General Hospital looking yummy good as Queen Latifah's husband. (PS...this worked, I cringed every time I saw Common with her in Just Wright)

Then I realized....they didn't sing any gospel songs, what? What kind of gospel movie doesn't have any gospel songs....ugh let's move on.


* Who wrote/directed Akellah and the Bee and The Great Debaters? I need to send them a check to make some more movies....gosh.

Day 246: Things I haven't quite figured out in Asia

In my room is a water heater, you know it I want make tea in the middle of the night or early morning. This was one of my favorite, most important appliance in college so I was happy to see it. But….I can’t figure out how to use it. If I open it is there is a bare heating circle at the bottom, you can’t put water on that. (Right?) I put two dots of water, it was like putting it on a bare stove. So I looked to see do I heat it in the arms, is there someone where to put the water….nooo. No tea for me L

The other thing is next to toilet in the bathroom. I know once again exactly what it does, but I wonder how it works (but never would try it). There is a sprayer like in your kitchen to spray off your dishes next to the toilet. You know to spray off your bottom. LOL! But as I am looking at it, I am really wondering how? How do you spray it and not get it on your pants? Do you sit and then put it underneath you? Take your pants off?  After you spray to you use toilet paper? Wouldn’t it get stuck? Perhaps a towel? Wouldn’t it be gross? Generally at this point, I leave that bathroom and ignore it. But sometimes I wonder.

Today, I met a freshwater pearl dealer that made necklaces. He was great the pearls were about $6 dollars a strand and you got a free pair of earrings that he took off of the necklace so they match. Now everyone was looking like “come on, are these real?” So the guy attempted to burn them, attempted to slice them, and finally a guy asked if he could bite it and the guy let him. This guy rolled the pearl around in his mouth and tried to bite it several times, before he spit it out and put it back on the table… (Picture me side-eyeing the table) How many people has he let do that!?!

Ugh gross.

LOL. All in all I absolutely positively like my visit in Asia. How amazing it is whenever you go somewhere that is different culturally, internationally, you learn so much, it is amazing. I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

Tip my hat. Until tomorrow.

Day 247: The completion of Boo and Me

Boo is gone…for a while….a—while. I knew it all along so it wasn’t a surprise to me. (I have a hard time dealing with surprise disappearances these days, go figure)

He said something really prophetic our last time hanging out together, he said “I never wanted to put you back in the position, that I “rescued” you from.”

I really leaned back and thought about that. In essence it is true, but he didn’t hurt me when he left. I was never hurt or bothered when BF left either; it was when he disappeared that crushed my spirit and my hopes. Boo couldn’t do that to me. I was never trying to build a life with Boo. I didn’t hear from him everyday about our future together, how we would be closer together during the separation, how he wanted me beside him, that we should marry immediately, that he would call for me after three months how often visits would happen.  Oh, but this isn’t about EX-him. Back to Boo.

The only thing I have to say about our untimely ending is just how untimely it was. I appreciate the time he made for me, especially when he would often not ,but our brains were stressed, elsewhere, not focused on each other, on that special feeling that we feel when we are together, “my glow” and his “screw/boo/smirk/smile” face.

We came together, last minute, a busy night, with uneasy feelings and watched a movie that magnified our uneasy feelings. I wanted to clear my head, enjoy the feelings, hold him, laugh easily, stand on my tiptoes and kiss his lips over and over and over.

It didn’t happen. By the time I felt like myself, he was gone, selfish, deciding to leave with a bad taste in his mouth. Maybe he was right. What bothered me the most was as usual, how left out I felt, all decisions were made by him, it was never what we wanted. A lesson I left alone.

I never knew what he wanted from our boo-ness, never knew how he felt, never heard him say his feelings about me. A lesson I left alone.

I heard from him recently. I asked him not to before we left, said I enjoyed our time, and hoped to never hear from again. It was supposed to be a moment in time. He ignored me.

It was only supposed to be a moment in time.