I never realized that I had such an interesting background when it comes to race until this year (my 32nd year if you are feeling noisy). It is so weird that your perception changes as the world around you changes.
I was born and raised in West Virginia. I always get a look when I say that, a look that says either "there are black people in WV" or "people other than tv- portrayed hillbillies live in WV?" I generally shrug and smile, while my eyes say of course.
My father and mother are from neighboring small towns just across the border in Virginia. My father had a background in the military, a degree in criminal justice, was older when he went to college and was known for having a cool head. He became a perfect candidate for being able to help integrate the West Virginia State Police department which was severely lacking women (of any color) and men of color (especially Black men). This was in 1980, y'all.
The story was that my dad stopped through my mom's town (she worked at the only real grocery store) and asked if she was up for something big and different. It turns out, she was. (That's where I get from).
So off to WV to change race relations along with me. West Virginia, unlike Virginia, was more tolerant of Black civil rights for example when Brown vs. Board of Education struck down segregation in school in 1954, WV shrugged said all right and followed the law. Virginia, on the other hand, started a person vendetta.**
As people assume, there were not a lot of Black people in West Virginia, so I was often one of few faces of color in my classrooms. I was so excited when a Black girl came in when I was in 5th grade and she was in 6th, I made her my best friend. I don't think she was as thrilled. She left the next year for junior high school. I often watched programs that employed a black best friend like Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell or Jessi from the Babysitter's Club. I had a strong Black conscience since my family was part of a Baptist Church family and my parents always tried to find ways to enrich my blackness, similar to Ta-Nahisi Coates and his family experience. We stayed super black at home. We would venture to any programs they heard about at HBCU WV State. I grew up well-rounded with lots of pockets of diversity of all kinds, but still not a very big Black presence in my life through high school. ***
I was so proud of my dad, loved seeing him take me to school in uniform, loved riding in his cop car even if he had to open the door from the outside to let me out the back. I loved how people regarded him mostly with respect and trust even though he was a big Black man (6'3). I particularly remember my dad giving rides home to latchkey kids in my neighborhood (often other people of color). I remember two Mexican kids in no less than 1st grade walking home together up and down hills (it's WV) to get to their home. We would pick them up almost every afternoon and they trusted my dad, not because they knew him, but because his uniform suggested trust and helpfulness.
I grew up with a strong respect for police officers and spent time with other children of police officers. I'm sure I was sheltered, but I also understood a lot at a young age. My dad loved his job (from what I could tell) and definitely got into the field to help others, just as many other people do.
When I think about this blue lives matters vs. black lives matters, it is so infuriating to me. You can be blue or black or both, but the fact of the matter is Police are not being trained in a manner that puts value on the lives of Black women and men (or transgendered). The basic etiquette and manners of people has changed, which has increased the emotions triggered by some individuals that police, SOME police feel threatened by merely the presence of black skin on their bodies. They are doing what they think is right, their gut reaction because hundreds of years of bias and prejudice seen on tv, the radio, spread by family members, coworkers and marketing polluted their minds into thinking that a 18 year old unarmed high school graduate was a threat to your life. That a woman covered in blood looking for some help is trying to come for you. That a man that is running firmly in the other direction is trying to take your life and not just try to spare his.
What happens next is a type of mind influencing hypnosis. How can we make the deceased a bad person? How can we make the shooter more innocent? How can we create emotions, seek outrage, twist facts, and create media sensations. No one is perfect, but making a mistake shouldn't cost your life. (I would argue it should cost your job, though). We, the Black population are frightened when we see the lights flashing in the mirror, we know that our government and our nation doesn't have our back. That the constitution wasn't written for us and still appears to not include us. When it comes to we are all Americans- next to our names is a caveat or an asterisk that says only to be treated equally in small doses and only if they are more than average - smarter, keener, athletically talented and then only as long as they keep their mouth shut. And no matter who is to blame, we move on and the person is acquitted often WITH VIDEO/EYEWITNESSES, Lord everything but the dead person testifying on the stand.
I have inherited the cool head of my father, who can let my mother go on and on and on about something until he asserts "That's enough, Karen" and that's it. I don't speak up unless it is entirely wrong or insanely hurtful. This is both. I will not be swayed by rhetoric to pick a side and follow blindly. I will not be riled up by articles in the media and comments on social media. I will not destroy other people for a cause. I am smart enough and old enough to believe both things are true. Black lives should matter as much as other lives and Police were created to be helpful to others and should be respected.
A few years ago, my dad was sitting with his nieces and nephews - and grandnieces and nephews during a vacation after another person lost their life due to a police altercation. He said(paraphrasing) that police are just workers that have you follow rules, if you believe that they are being incorrect or unfair, do not fight or argue, you go to the courts for that. Your job is to focus on getting home safely.
Stay safe y'all. If you have ways to continue the fight, please share.
* Following the 1954 Brown ruling, West Virginia Governor William C. Marland pledged to obey the Supreme Court edict and foresaw no serious difficulty in integrating West Virginia schools. While in Virginia, there was massive resistance, schools were shut down rather than comply or focused on the words, with "all deliberate speed" to slow down the process. A great book to learn more is "Something Must Be Done about Prince Edward County" by Kristen Green, which describes what happens to a community if you decide to stop teaching them and how it affected future generations.
* Note my father was also affected my Brown Vs. Board of Education, by 1968 they still hadn't integrated some schools in Virginia, upon being threatened with a loss of tax funds as noting their open disregard the Supreme Court ruling. My father, a senior in high school got bussed almost an hour away to integrate the school. I'm sure this wasn't the way my father wanted to spend his senior year after being fairly well-known in his other school.
***Life for my dad turns out to be not roses either.
I was born and raised in West Virginia. I always get a look when I say that, a look that says either "there are black people in WV" or "people other than tv- portrayed hillbillies live in WV?" I generally shrug and smile, while my eyes say of course.
My father and mother are from neighboring small towns just across the border in Virginia. My father had a background in the military, a degree in criminal justice, was older when he went to college and was known for having a cool head. He became a perfect candidate for being able to help integrate the West Virginia State Police department which was severely lacking women (of any color) and men of color (especially Black men). This was in 1980, y'all.
The story was that my dad stopped through my mom's town (she worked at the only real grocery store) and asked if she was up for something big and different. It turns out, she was. (That's where I get from).
So off to WV to change race relations along with me. West Virginia, unlike Virginia, was more tolerant of Black civil rights for example when Brown vs. Board of Education struck down segregation in school in 1954, WV shrugged said all right and followed the law. Virginia, on the other hand, started a person vendetta.**
As people assume, there were not a lot of Black people in West Virginia, so I was often one of few faces of color in my classrooms. I was so excited when a Black girl came in when I was in 5th grade and she was in 6th, I made her my best friend. I don't think she was as thrilled. She left the next year for junior high school. I often watched programs that employed a black best friend like Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell or Jessi from the Babysitter's Club. I had a strong Black conscience since my family was part of a Baptist Church family and my parents always tried to find ways to enrich my blackness, similar to Ta-Nahisi Coates and his family experience. We stayed super black at home. We would venture to any programs they heard about at HBCU WV State. I grew up well-rounded with lots of pockets of diversity of all kinds, but still not a very big Black presence in my life through high school. ***
I was so proud of my dad, loved seeing him take me to school in uniform, loved riding in his cop car even if he had to open the door from the outside to let me out the back. I loved how people regarded him mostly with respect and trust even though he was a big Black man (6'3). I particularly remember my dad giving rides home to latchkey kids in my neighborhood (often other people of color). I remember two Mexican kids in no less than 1st grade walking home together up and down hills (it's WV) to get to their home. We would pick them up almost every afternoon and they trusted my dad, not because they knew him, but because his uniform suggested trust and helpfulness.
I grew up with a strong respect for police officers and spent time with other children of police officers. I'm sure I was sheltered, but I also understood a lot at a young age. My dad loved his job (from what I could tell) and definitely got into the field to help others, just as many other people do.
When I think about this blue lives matters vs. black lives matters, it is so infuriating to me. You can be blue or black or both, but the fact of the matter is Police are not being trained in a manner that puts value on the lives of Black women and men (or transgendered). The basic etiquette and manners of people has changed, which has increased the emotions triggered by some individuals that police, SOME police feel threatened by merely the presence of black skin on their bodies. They are doing what they think is right, their gut reaction because hundreds of years of bias and prejudice seen on tv, the radio, spread by family members, coworkers and marketing polluted their minds into thinking that a 18 year old unarmed high school graduate was a threat to your life. That a woman covered in blood looking for some help is trying to come for you. That a man that is running firmly in the other direction is trying to take your life and not just try to spare his.
What happens next is a type of mind influencing hypnosis. How can we make the deceased a bad person? How can we make the shooter more innocent? How can we create emotions, seek outrage, twist facts, and create media sensations. No one is perfect, but making a mistake shouldn't cost your life. (I would argue it should cost your job, though). We, the Black population are frightened when we see the lights flashing in the mirror, we know that our government and our nation doesn't have our back. That the constitution wasn't written for us and still appears to not include us. When it comes to we are all Americans- next to our names is a caveat or an asterisk that says only to be treated equally in small doses and only if they are more than average - smarter, keener, athletically talented and then only as long as they keep their mouth shut. And no matter who is to blame, we move on and the person is acquitted often WITH VIDEO/EYEWITNESSES, Lord everything but the dead person testifying on the stand.
I have inherited the cool head of my father, who can let my mother go on and on and on about something until he asserts "That's enough, Karen" and that's it. I don't speak up unless it is entirely wrong or insanely hurtful. This is both. I will not be swayed by rhetoric to pick a side and follow blindly. I will not be riled up by articles in the media and comments on social media. I will not destroy other people for a cause. I am smart enough and old enough to believe both things are true. Black lives should matter as much as other lives and Police were created to be helpful to others and should be respected.
A few years ago, my dad was sitting with his nieces and nephews - and grandnieces and nephews during a vacation after another person lost their life due to a police altercation. He said(paraphrasing) that police are just workers that have you follow rules, if you believe that they are being incorrect or unfair, do not fight or argue, you go to the courts for that. Your job is to focus on getting home safely.
Stay safe y'all. If you have ways to continue the fight, please share.
* Following the 1954 Brown ruling, West Virginia Governor William C. Marland pledged to obey the Supreme Court edict and foresaw no serious difficulty in integrating West Virginia schools. While in Virginia, there was massive resistance, schools were shut down rather than comply or focused on the words, with "all deliberate speed" to slow down the process. A great book to learn more is "Something Must Be Done about Prince Edward County" by Kristen Green, which describes what happens to a community if you decide to stop teaching them and how it affected future generations.
* Note my father was also affected my Brown Vs. Board of Education, by 1968 they still hadn't integrated some schools in Virginia, upon being threatened with a loss of tax funds as noting their open disregard the Supreme Court ruling. My father, a senior in high school got bussed almost an hour away to integrate the school. I'm sure this wasn't the way my father wanted to spend his senior year after being fairly well-known in his other school.
***Life for my dad turns out to be not roses either.
