I'm having a problem. Shhh, I know we are traditionally supposed to hold problems and opinions close so no one can judge, but believe me it feels so much better and I able to think about it more when I am writing it, in public so I am held accountable. And years from now I can look back and see how silly, how immature.
I moved to North Carolina, it's no secret I have always wanted to live here! I used to visit all the time and I always had a good time. Ahhh lesson grasshopper: Just because it is a good place to visit doesn't mean that it would be a good lesson to live. Before you assume I will bang on NC, I won't. It's beautiful, fulled with nice, beautiful people, good food, family oriented, men looking for women for relationships, lots of good schools that breed lots of intelligent people.
Ahhh so what's the problem you ask? I am struck by something a very smart friend once told me. We were both living in Costa Rica at the time, and me open-mouthed, had never seen anything quite like the beauty of it. I exclaimed, "Isn't it the greatest?" His face told me, he didn't want to let me down, but he wasn't going to lie. "Costa Rica, certainly is beautiful," he starts, "but I am just came from Brazil and am from the islands of Trinidad....and boy that is amazing."
And I realized that everything is relative experiences. If I would have moved to NC, right after living in Roanoke, VA or even Richmond, I know I would have thought that this was the greatest most impressive place, a definite step-up! But me, with my far reaching thoughts, my bold try anything once, moved to Washington DC, a place that was fully out of my reach, range, and by all means should have torn me up and spit me out, but in reality, I only got a little bruised. And now I wanna get back on the bull, I never thought I would want that even up until early last spring. But part of being older, I'm seeing that though I have a loose plan, maturity is causing me to reaccess many of my plans. (moving, travelling job, adult relationships, marriage, even babies).
My life is changing in every moment and I am just along for the ride.
Now back to my problem. I don't think that I am being very nice. Now it is no secret that I don't do well with ignorant or stupid people. OR worse unambitious or lazy people. And so when I see them I just steer clear. I recognize that it is very hard to find the small group of people that are similar to you and fully realize that it may take a year or two to find them, so don't alienate anyone or you'll be alone. Well, I must be getting older, because I struggle to care, I struggle to stay relevant to them, and all I can do is smile. Maybe I'm getting more shy, but I don't think that's it. I've lived in some many countries and so many areas that I know to be respectful, to learn their way to do things, but why don't I care. I just want to work hard, get my degree and go back and make a mark.
Why can't I just do like the Romans>?!?
