I will never give enough thanks about how blessed I am with all the people, who take a moment out to read my blog, or better put me on their blog read, or favorites list, my hearts swoons every time I think about it. And while I believe the ultimate form of communication should be verbal (or nonverbal, just definitely not through social media or text messages) but I assume through this blog, you hear my voice. I can wax poetic, all I want, and I don't have to hear your opinion. I want to, of course, I love when you come back to me to talk about something I've said because it means that you've heard me.
One of my friends tells me about how deep I am. I like to try and put layers into my speech, sometimes I'm speaking directly to someone, and sometimes if you're smart anyone can figure it out. It's funny that something as simply as a photo can stick in a person's head and erase everything that was just written. I'm glad I'm deep and not like the joke on the Steve Harvey Show, "that's not deep Corey, that's stupid" Even the movie Jeff, who lives at Home, (which I went to see because I am in deep love with Jason Segel), is poking fun of someone who is so deep, he can't even function in real life, and in the end the joke is on the world for he had purpose all along, it's just who determines the purpose. The movie was a little slow, but meaningful in its simplicity.
Just take a moment, read, and process because everything I'm writing you can take at face value or you can hear what I'm really saying.
HAPPY WEEKEND!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Day 277: FAB FRIDAY: The Adventures of Girl Lisa
A bead of sweat formed on her top lip in anticipation of what she was going to have to do today. She glanced over and realized that the car had completely stopped moving. She leaned up in her reclined seat to glance out the window and there was her travel mate. He grinned at her as he pumped gas. A smile so filled with love that she immediately relaxed and laid back down in her chair. What luck, she thought, to have such a terrific man love her so completely. It had taken her awhile to convince him that they should go away on a vacation together, but as soon as the plans started to come together he became as excited as she.
The door opens as he enters with a steaming cup of something and something in a bag that he hands to her. What a sweet man, she thought, he always was looking out for her, forever her protector. As they continue driving the 7 hour trip to their vacation spot, she started thinking about how they first met. This was their first vacation together during a relationship that included international long distance, unemployment, and that was just Girl Lisa. He had stayed the same, her rock through the process of finding herself after college. It began when she was a contractor at the company he worked for, and he offered to be a listening ear about the struggles of being respected.
Of course he wasn't without problems, his unknown marital status after his wife left him a few years prior, a hippie look that caused others to judge his lifestyle, and of course the 10 year age difference, but they were both starting anew from the ground up and intent on doing it together.
Which is why it made what she had to do even harder. She debated on when she would break the news to him. There was just no good time on such a happy occasion. She knew it had to be soon, but she also didn't want to ruin the vibe. She would wait until it was almost over. She wanted him in a good mood for their vacation.
They made it to their hotel in good time and enjoyed the next 5 days together. They spent most of the time on the beach, laying in the sun, enjoying the feeling of having absolutely nothing to do. In between they went on excursions to see everything there was to offer. He spared no expense, going to fancy restaurants, buying her things, she felt on top of the world and she made sure he felt the same. Every night in the hotel she reminded him how she felt for him and after he fell asleep, pondered for hours about whether to change her decision. Why mess up a such a good thing with a good man?
It was the last few days of their vacation and they decided to wing it, go to places they had heard about, but never seen. And so quickly it became their last night together. As he went to grab her as soon as they walked into the hotel room, she stopped him. In one breath, she told him, she had met someone else. Now that she was no longer searching for herself, had an apartment, a job, and an offer to get out of the rural area they lived in; she had found a new man and he was perfect for her "new professional" self. She watched him drop his hand from her body, unmoved, slowly nod his head and went to sit on the couch. That night they had sex like it would be their last time together, lasting hours and hours, filled with emotions, tears and proclamations of things left unsaid. The next morning, Girl Lisa hung back unsure of how he would act, when he came out of the bathroom. He smiled a sad smile, held out his hand and grateful, she grabbed it. Tears filled her eyes as she felt that she may have made a mistake, with the greatest man she ever met, only because he didn't live up to what she and others thought would be a "proper" man for a relationship.
Hand in hand, they headed to the car wondering whether their paths would continue to merge, or else take different directions?
This is my introduction in the "Girl Lisa" series, that I am starting. I would love feedback for this is my first crack at fiction. Keep an eye out for a proper introduction to Girl Lisa, coming soon.
The door opens as he enters with a steaming cup of something and something in a bag that he hands to her. What a sweet man, she thought, he always was looking out for her, forever her protector. As they continue driving the 7 hour trip to their vacation spot, she started thinking about how they first met. This was their first vacation together during a relationship that included international long distance, unemployment, and that was just Girl Lisa. He had stayed the same, her rock through the process of finding herself after college. It began when she was a contractor at the company he worked for, and he offered to be a listening ear about the struggles of being respected.
Of course he wasn't without problems, his unknown marital status after his wife left him a few years prior, a hippie look that caused others to judge his lifestyle, and of course the 10 year age difference, but they were both starting anew from the ground up and intent on doing it together.
Which is why it made what she had to do even harder. She debated on when she would break the news to him. There was just no good time on such a happy occasion. She knew it had to be soon, but she also didn't want to ruin the vibe. She would wait until it was almost over. She wanted him in a good mood for their vacation.
They made it to their hotel in good time and enjoyed the next 5 days together. They spent most of the time on the beach, laying in the sun, enjoying the feeling of having absolutely nothing to do. In between they went on excursions to see everything there was to offer. He spared no expense, going to fancy restaurants, buying her things, she felt on top of the world and she made sure he felt the same. Every night in the hotel she reminded him how she felt for him and after he fell asleep, pondered for hours about whether to change her decision. Why mess up a such a good thing with a good man?
It was the last few days of their vacation and they decided to wing it, go to places they had heard about, but never seen. And so quickly it became their last night together. As he went to grab her as soon as they walked into the hotel room, she stopped him. In one breath, she told him, she had met someone else. Now that she was no longer searching for herself, had an apartment, a job, and an offer to get out of the rural area they lived in; she had found a new man and he was perfect for her "new professional" self. She watched him drop his hand from her body, unmoved, slowly nod his head and went to sit on the couch. That night they had sex like it would be their last time together, lasting hours and hours, filled with emotions, tears and proclamations of things left unsaid. The next morning, Girl Lisa hung back unsure of how he would act, when he came out of the bathroom. He smiled a sad smile, held out his hand and grateful, she grabbed it. Tears filled her eyes as she felt that she may have made a mistake, with the greatest man she ever met, only because he didn't live up to what she and others thought would be a "proper" man for a relationship.
Hand in hand, they headed to the car wondering whether their paths would continue to merge, or else take different directions?
This is my introduction in the "Girl Lisa" series, that I am starting. I would love feedback for this is my first crack at fiction. Keep an eye out for a proper introduction to Girl Lisa, coming soon.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Day 278:"People on the Internet Can Be Hella Racist"
I could not conceal my disappointment and sadness from the world that I exist in when I first read the article about Rue from the Hunger Games movie. She was my favorite, and I had spoken about my delight in the casting in my earlier post. I knew not everyone agree, but how previously unaware I was at this heartlessness. I cried for little girls like her, and hoped she would learn about the hate that people have just for a color of one's skin. I would love to be that person, who jumps to her defense, and has some words of my own to speak towards her aggressors who are now my aggressors. I don't. I was so glad to see one of favorite greatest Black Female minds, Issae Rae, did.
And I realized that greatest things that we can do is not blow-up, not complain, not to riot, but simply to continue to exist. To wear our hoodies to say that we are here. To show up and continue to band together under good productive things, to watch Hunger Games and support the characters of Rue, Thresh, and Cinna. To continue to make our own movies, and create our own websites and movies, when "they" don't want to see them, don't want to know them, and hate to see something of "ours" do well.
EXIST, CREATE, BE STRONG, BE PROUD.
Check out her article below:
http://www.xojane.com/issues/people-internet-can-be-hella-racist
And I realized that greatest things that we can do is not blow-up, not complain, not to riot, but simply to continue to exist. To wear our hoodies to say that we are here. To show up and continue to band together under good productive things, to watch Hunger Games and support the characters of Rue, Thresh, and Cinna. To continue to make our own movies, and create our own websites and movies, when "they" don't want to see them, don't want to know them, and hate to see something of "ours" do well.
EXIST, CREATE, BE STRONG, BE PROUD.
Check out her article below:
http://www.xojane.com/issues/people-internet-can-be-hella-racist
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Day 279: Being Encouraged vs. Being Pushy
In college, I was often the person you went to for encouragement, though I didn't give advice I was always a "yes" pusher. Do it and try it was my mantra. Relying heavily on my faith, people were encouraged when I would take my own leaps, and upon making it they felt stronger in their decisions. I lead by example showing I can do all things and was very confident. When you are waking through exactly in the steps that God has planned for you, it was easy for things to go right. I remember showing friends the power of Christ in something as simple as praying for a parking space.
Lately I've noticed my encouragement has no longer been, well encouraging. After saying things, I heard expressions change to agitation and frustration in their voices. What happened to my talent? I stopped and really listened to myself. Who was that person voice-filled with judgments and frustrations, trying to give words of encouragement. And I realized I wasn't encouraged. How could I be? I was no longer walking in the steps that God laid out for me, so my confidence had quickly faded. My previously encouraging voice now sounded pushy and judgmental. My happiness/love/help was not there so I knew that I needed to shut down and find happiness, faith, steps, and encouragement in myself before I will give advice/encouragement to another. So I searched myself, saw myself. And now I hear the love, faith, happiness, and now I feel more confident.
Are your words encouraging or pushy? Do people shy away from talking to you or can't wait to tell you their good news and plans?
Lately I've noticed my encouragement has no longer been, well encouraging. After saying things, I heard expressions change to agitation and frustration in their voices. What happened to my talent? I stopped and really listened to myself. Who was that person voice-filled with judgments and frustrations, trying to give words of encouragement. And I realized I wasn't encouraged. How could I be? I was no longer walking in the steps that God laid out for me, so my confidence had quickly faded. My previously encouraging voice now sounded pushy and judgmental. My happiness/love/help was not there so I knew that I needed to shut down and find happiness, faith, steps, and encouragement in myself before I will give advice/encouragement to another. So I searched myself, saw myself. And now I hear the love, faith, happiness, and now I feel more confident.
Are your words encouraging or pushy? Do people shy away from talking to you or can't wait to tell you their good news and plans?
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Day 280: A letter to a 12 year old girl they call "different"
Hi beautiful young girl,
I've known you since the day you were created, and was with you only a few days after you saw daylight for the first time. We had a special bond, me and you, almost immediately. There was something I saw in you so familiar, but I just didn't know at the time what it was. As you grew, your boldness was unlike anyone else in your family, not quite two years old, you told me in exacting words that you were coming with me, and you just needed to get your shoes. My ears thought I didn't hear that until my eyes saw you trying to put your shoes on. You were friendly, and how your face lit up when you were happy. You were also very intelligent, and had a thirst for knowledge fulfillment that I hadn't seen since, well, me. It was exciting to see, and I prayed for the best for you.
With proper fostering you grew, but your thirst for knowledge did not stop you from noticing that others around you did not have the same. In fact, the more you learned the more bewildered you became about your surroundings. As a kid, you want to be just like everyone else, or find that person who is like you. It can be lonely in those days, when others can't understand you. It makes you more sensitive to what others around you are saying about you. For a while, you may be committed to the idea of "acting" just like the others, trying to find the pleasure in the things that they are doing and while it may be fun, you always know in the back of your head that it isn't enough. This is the age that you blossom and go to your greatest capacity or you shrink to the background and everyone remembers you as the smart little girl, who could have gone so far. I pray that you choose the former.
It's really hard, right now growing into a teenager, hearing things that you are unsure if it is true, having a limited base to figure things out, but believe me it will become clear. Everything that you want you can have. Everything you think you would want to work hard to achieve, you can achieve. I just want to caution you not to limit yourself. Don't listen to anyone but God and your gut (which for me are often the same thing). Be very careful, people who are unsure about things, will try to tell you not to something, but question why they would say that. Do they have a good reason? Do you have a good reason for doing it? Do you want to do something good, something that will better your life? Something that will get you noticed to help your future? Please I hope and I pray that you do it.
Little girl, you are not different, you are not weird, you are not something to be put up with, YOU ARE SPECIAL. God's has blessed you with a special, amazing beautiful talent that no one around you has. Do not hold your light in, let it shine. Let everyone see it. I promise you that things will change, things will make sense, you will meet so many people like you, who will love you, succeed with you, grow with you.
Little girl, if I can give you any advice at all, it would be go to college. A 4 year college. An educationally challenging college. Have the experience of your life, do the most that you are prepared to do, and be prepared for this world. You are able to do it, do not let anyone sway your belief. Not for money, not for anything. And I will help you. I will always be here for anything, just let me know, you can always call. I know what you are going through and I want you to be victorious. Always ask questions. Grow, learn and love.
Cause I was once that 12 year girl that they called "different"
Love,
Naturally Black Me
I've known you since the day you were created, and was with you only a few days after you saw daylight for the first time. We had a special bond, me and you, almost immediately. There was something I saw in you so familiar, but I just didn't know at the time what it was. As you grew, your boldness was unlike anyone else in your family, not quite two years old, you told me in exacting words that you were coming with me, and you just needed to get your shoes. My ears thought I didn't hear that until my eyes saw you trying to put your shoes on. You were friendly, and how your face lit up when you were happy. You were also very intelligent, and had a thirst for knowledge fulfillment that I hadn't seen since, well, me. It was exciting to see, and I prayed for the best for you.
With proper fostering you grew, but your thirst for knowledge did not stop you from noticing that others around you did not have the same. In fact, the more you learned the more bewildered you became about your surroundings. As a kid, you want to be just like everyone else, or find that person who is like you. It can be lonely in those days, when others can't understand you. It makes you more sensitive to what others around you are saying about you. For a while, you may be committed to the idea of "acting" just like the others, trying to find the pleasure in the things that they are doing and while it may be fun, you always know in the back of your head that it isn't enough. This is the age that you blossom and go to your greatest capacity or you shrink to the background and everyone remembers you as the smart little girl, who could have gone so far. I pray that you choose the former.
It's really hard, right now growing into a teenager, hearing things that you are unsure if it is true, having a limited base to figure things out, but believe me it will become clear. Everything that you want you can have. Everything you think you would want to work hard to achieve, you can achieve. I just want to caution you not to limit yourself. Don't listen to anyone but God and your gut (which for me are often the same thing). Be very careful, people who are unsure about things, will try to tell you not to something, but question why they would say that. Do they have a good reason? Do you have a good reason for doing it? Do you want to do something good, something that will better your life? Something that will get you noticed to help your future? Please I hope and I pray that you do it.
Little girl, you are not different, you are not weird, you are not something to be put up with, YOU ARE SPECIAL. God's has blessed you with a special, amazing beautiful talent that no one around you has. Do not hold your light in, let it shine. Let everyone see it. I promise you that things will change, things will make sense, you will meet so many people like you, who will love you, succeed with you, grow with you.
Little girl, if I can give you any advice at all, it would be go to college. A 4 year college. An educationally challenging college. Have the experience of your life, do the most that you are prepared to do, and be prepared for this world. You are able to do it, do not let anyone sway your belief. Not for money, not for anything. And I will help you. I will always be here for anything, just let me know, you can always call. I know what you are going through and I want you to be victorious. Always ask questions. Grow, learn and love.
Cause I was once that 12 year girl that they called "different"
Love,
Naturally Black Me
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