Day 303: Really listening with your ears and seeing with your eyes.

It is possible that everything that I've done in the last month, could have been based from a misunderstanding. No one is at fault, and though I'm sure I tried, I tried the only way I knew how and perhaps I wasn't right. The misunderstanding was never fixed and there's no growing from that.

I think there truly lies something within a woman that thinks that she can change a man. She hears what he says but doesn't listen and doesn't interpret. She sees what a man is doing to others, but simply uses that as compliment at how good she treats you. Women and men are never and have never been the same in their feelings and their thoughts and if for a moment you realize that you are thinking the same thing, oh that's love. You probably need to take it to the next step.

Listening with my ears: One of the biggest problems that surfaced with my relationship, dealt with my significant other only saying things that people wanted to hear. If he would be with me, it would be one thing for me, with his parents something different.

Seeing with my eyes: Noticing his habits, generally speaking weekly or every other week, his parents had to beg him to keep in touch. I never really thought about it, but then I lived with him, we didn't need to keep in touch. When the shoe was the other foot, I found I had to beg too.

Listening with my ears: Whenever someone would ask him a hard question, he would act like a turtle and disappear or get really angry about nothing. He would use tactics to avoid the question, not just right then, but forever. When his really good friend asked him, what he had planned (for the day, for the future), he would wig out for no reason at all. That hard for a planner like me to grasp, though I have my "let's just do it moments too"

And not just him, when I look to other talks I hear things/see things I never noticed that were so telling. Men telling me that they've never dated before, but if they would it would be me. That they love a women's your body. Men calling you after they've done everything that they need to do, then they call you. You were never  part of the list.

Listen to what they are saying about others, how they treat their own friends, members of their family. What are truly the important thing. I think men realize what they want a long time before they are ready to act on it (maybe not all cases). I know men who have told me that they are ready to settle down, but then two more years go by and they still out there wiling, having that fun single night, think they're not ready, then have that cold bed night, think they are ready. Women are the same way. I've been told time after time that I was marriage material, but that doesn't mean any of them were going to marry me. Not that I wanted to be married at the time. The conundrum is simple. You have to want him, he has to want you and you both have to be ready at the same time. The latter is the hard part.

Really listen....really look and be careful not to add something that is not there. If you are important in a man's life really you would know it daily. Don't let extra things get in the way of that.

And be careful with ...

 I love you. Probably one of the most abused phrases in the entire English language. The first time it slips out, it is so sweet, so vulnerable, so freeing. But then it just becomes routine, like saying bye when you leave. It loses its meaning. It's fleeting. Look into his eyes. What are the emotions and actions that are associated with this?