Of all the things in life, one of the things I most like hearing from others, "how did you get your hair like that?" Sadly, I also find it one of the hardest questions to answer. Usually, I go with it, it just does it. If you haven't met me before, you should know that I am blessed with a mass of curls, that I refer to as my curly mop, as I am in the process of growing them to a respectable curly length (which is hard in itsself), and as it gets warmer, I find more people stopping to ask how to make theirs look like mine.
well, thanks. What started as a quest to go natural and stop putting unnecessary chemicals in my hair became a chance to see the true me and what I look like. People in my family often look at my hair in awe and then say they couldn't do that, but in actuality probably have hair just as curly or curlier than mine.
To you younger folks who are battling with your hair and it breaks off, falls out and generally looks thirsty, I have a secret. I was you. My mom and others in my family began putting perm in my hair when I was young, too young. As a adult, I asked them why would they do that. I never had tough hair, sure it was unruly, (I was the kid who came home and the top and sides were standing up all over her head), but nothing some vaseline and a bottle of water couldn't fix. My mother said she had no idea why she did, but it was just something you "do". I only got perms once, at most twice a year, so my need was so little, but the damage was so great. But it made my young, long hair look sleek and controlled.
And then I hit puberty, and IT ALL FELL OUT. My long luscious ponytail, became a puff on the top of my head, and not even a strong puff. I remember plenty of Black women coming up to me and smacking my bottom, for cutting off my pretty hair. Confused, I fought back tears. I didn't. My mom, unsure what to do continued perming it, because at least it looked longer, and healthy for a week or so. I know look at my younger cousins all going through the same thing, and it hurts my heart.
When I speak it goes to deaf ears, people who don't even know why they do their hair like that, have such strong convictions about perms, they don't know the thing that is making their hair "pretty" is what is making them lose their hair.
In college, I freed myself from the perm and even learned that my hair isn't even strong enough for highlights. My hair needs a lot of moisture and a lot of love to grow and nourish. And it grows like Theo from the first season of the Cosby Show. The back first, this looks hella awkward when it is growing but I am trying to come up with good alternative looks during those times.
How do I get my hair this way? I wash it and wear it with some kinky-curly leave in. It took 6 months after all the perm was gone to coax my hair to go to its curly state and even then it curled in many different ways and took 4 years just for it not to go where it wants to. I hear at 6 years you finally figure out how to wear your hair perfectly and it gets to the length and curl pattern that you want. I am excited!!
P.S. I will add a pic of my hair as soon as I find a good one.
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