In an effort to get to know myself a little better, I went through previous journals of my life dating all the way back to college. A chance to see how I felt at any point in my past, and I realized how cyclical my life is. No matter where I am, who I am, my life mirrors what happened last year at that point. When I make new friends, when I am most successful at dating, when I feel sad, when I feel very successful, even when I am likely to change my hairstyle, it all very planned and structured if you look at it kinda like from above your own life. What would your life look like if it was in a box or a maze rather and you can look at it from above? Study it really? I think mine would be a spiral. Everyday learning, growing doing new things, but always kind of going back to same place perhaps with a new outlook, perhaps realizing my outlook was right in the first place.
Wow.
It was MLK day, and I was parking in front of a broken meter in front of the Waterfront to stop and get crabs with one of my closest friends and while I contemplated calling the meter hotline to report the broken meter, I realized I already had the answer. I could actually remember this from one year before and I knew exactly what the operator told me last year. "It doesn't matter honey, you don't have to pay today anyways, it's a federal holiday."
How odd, did my body want crabs because it expected it on this day. I thought this was a unique craving, when I told my friend, she said, "Well now we have a tradition, don't we?"
And there's more, I always get an urge to go to 757 beaches in the beginning of May, and always add it as part of my birthday month festivities.
This was a revelation, of sorts, but one that doesn't have an action to precede, just a chance to see with a different pair of eyes. It makes me feel omniscient, over my own life at least. There is still a wonder of what I'm going to do next, but still a certainty of what will definitely happen.
Crazy, right?
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