I was an exceptional child. I'm not tooting my own horn, I'm just stating the facts. I excelled in school, loved going to church, and loved being in charge and "acting" like an adult. As a child, I was predestined. Since before I could remember there was a strong Voice* in my head that kept me moving, fiercely independent, and with a plan in action for every year of my life to make sure I got out of the country and into college. Sometime probably a little after college, this Voice and exceptional life slowly fizzed out. My drive disappeared and I sought a purpose in finding that missing feeling.
And then came the "Better than" clause, do you know of it? This is when you look at other people and what they are doing and judge it against what you doing. Not necessarily in terms of success, but more in terms of judgement of sin. "Well, I know I'm doing not the right thing, but at least I'm doing better than them." "Well I know that I should go to church and participate instead of just being a pew warmer, but it's better than not coming at all." "Well I know that I should volunteer to help others in need, but others don't even know that you should do that and besides I'm busy" "Well I know I should treat my partner (family, friends), better, but I'm doing better than her." "She doesn't even call everyday" "We are all human, how does she expect me to not be faithful, when we are not around each other everyday. At least I'm doing better than this guy. He treats her dirty."
I fell into the "better than" and didn't even notice because I was so busy with city life. I lost grips with who I really was and became this "better than" personality. For 2012, I was fed up with that person and wanted to get back to what was truly me. I joined a church and am resuming my volunteer activities that I abandon long before. And I feel blessed. The sun truly shines brighter when you are living right. Have a great three day weekend everyone. Much love from me! If you need me, just ask me.
*I capitalized Voice, because I believe that is God's voice speaking directly to me.
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