Just last night, I had a terrific dinner conversation with a friend about how you know you've chose the right one for marriage for keeps. She being older than I, had more experience with relationships and wanted to not tell me what to do, but guide me on how to avoid getting badly hurt and having that all too horrible feeling that someone has wasted your time with lies and inconsistencies.
i came into work this morning, checked my fave Black blogs and saw a post from one of my fav bloggers, Slim Jackson on Single Black Male (More on him tomorrow!) And lo and behold, he was writing based on the article 10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person. He made his own points on this article that was beautifully written and mirrored my exact thoughts about my own hypothetical marriageable mate.
and because I haven't got it completely out of mind. I compared my ex who I actually thought, I would marry in the next 2 years and this is what I found.
1. Do not marry potential. I often stated how much potential my man had, but how he just wasn't there and then there's the waiting game. How long do you wait for him to live up to his potential, how long do you wait for him to be grown. The author made it so simple...you don't....if he's not grown, he may never be grown.
2.Choose character over chemistry. Now we always had chemistry. Good chemistry.But humility, kindness, responsibility...I've wondered about all of those. But I also realized that I have all those characteristics.
3. Emotional needs of the partner....well if that wasn't my whole February.
4.Life plans....What he would say to me...was not what he was planning.
Every single one of these were things that I thought about, things that ripped me apart thinking about at night. And I feel answered. Reaffirmed. Ready. I'm actually happy, very happy about where am I now. Thanks boo.
:)
People do make time for things that are important to them.
So now that I've caught up...I think we need a phone call!
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