I had mentioned earlier about the disappearing act that caused my Ex-BF, well to become my ex. I did not hear from him for weeks (2). While he was still updating facebook, he was not talking to me. I ended it, coincidentally announcing it on here, since he wasn't communicating with me. It felt imaginary, the relationship, like it was just me and this feeling, this spirit. And so we ended with no closure.
Then I called who I thought was one of my closest friends, and told her about him and how depressed I was. And then I didn't hear from her again. I would call once or twice a week and even once emailed her to see if her phone was broke. She answered back with, "Are you kidding me?" I didn't know what to do. Did I do something wrong. Is it that she didn't want to be my friend? Had I offended her? Was she just really, really busy? Too busy for a text, a phone call?
And then the boo, the one I had spoken about just last night. Initially, I was confused when I texted him on Friday, and I didn't hear from him for hours until in the middle of the night, he sent me that he had traveled across the country. And then I didn't hear from him for 2 days.
Update: He reappeared to tell me that he had a bathroom related incident with his phone. But something is different.
I'm not sure what this means. Does everyone disappear at some point? Does this affect others like it does me? When is it "disappear"? 24 hours? 1 week? 2? Do people become too busy to check in? Should I accept this behavior? (I don't know if I can?) Should I feel offended?
Can you weigh in on this one? This is my last hang-up. Yea, right.
Sometimes stuff happens. We are so connected that 1 day feels like a week. When at one time people wrote letters and it could be months before you could respond to a hello.
ReplyDeleteMy initial thoughts: forget the "friend" that disappeared in your time of need. F the X. Give the new one a chance to change your mind. This is his first time doing this. Don't add the mistakes of the last. New guy starts with a clean slate.
Thanks staceyG, you are always so rational and without judgment with your thoughts. (it is a wonder that we are friends). I was talking about it today with a friend, and I realized that this hasnt been something that I have ever worried about before EXBF just, well, disappeared. Now I have this irrational thought that everyone close to me might do the same, without rhyme or reason.
ReplyDeleteIt hurt my trust, but not just my trust of him, of everyone. That I can fix and I will never have such a silly post again. LOVE YOU!
Dear, it might be that once it happens once, you might expect everyone to just leave. I know I do, and yet, I trust people would stay. But it happened to me once and I know it can happen any time again. Real friends, though, don't leave. They stay up with you till 4am despite the fact they have to be at work at 7, if you really really need it.
ReplyDeleteSo I agree with Stacey. Some people come and go and some stay. Coming and going isn't bad, although it hurts at first. It just shows you who are the people to trust and invest energy into. And you know - the people who came and went were the people you needed in between, they taught you something, too.