I have always needed too much love. I have terrific psychological reasons (explanations for this chase I do to fill my lovecup with both boys and girls). I don't want everyone to love me or to be popular, I just want 1, 2 or 3 people to love me fully. When it happens (just a few weeks ago, it did), it is amazing, nothing can replace it, but when it starts to fade (at least this time, maybe always) I feel myself grasping for anyone that can make it last. And that is when the problems start. That is how the mess shoves it way back into my life. And depending on how long I let it exist, it may make or break me. As of today, it is gone.
I am a bit of a romantic. Wait...not a bit. Imma sucker for romance. I love all those thinking of yous, call to talk, just cause gifts. And I love to give them back if he's worthy. I has been only 7 months since I had a BF. Not a longtime considering but def longer than any other time in my life. Is this time for the big slow down will less men be knocking on my door trying to thrill me, romantize me, love me?
Who knows? I won't even dwell on that.
I have gone out with/hung out with 3 guys from DC (A huge NO!) who altogether would equal less than 1/2 of a person, such an ugly waste of my time, but I have been so in love, so in need of attention that I gave too much of my greatness (time!) to them and almost fell in lust with one. I t was so bad that when I met up with one of them, I wanted towalk run away immediately, I almost asked him if he could just end it as soon as we saw each other. I should have just left. The night just got worse from there.
How did all this happen? It wasall because of one guy.(not one of the three losers) A man unlike me, but a lot like me too, reminded me of someone, cared. He was generally a good guy, was there to hang out with me. numerous times a week, like to text, spoke to me on the phone, cared about changing the world, was available, was excited to hang out with me whenever we met,
And treated me right.
He changed my thoughts, gave me attention, and made me want to be better and do better.
And beautifully I realized, that it is not only possible, but he did it so simply....
I am a bit of a romantic. Wait...not a bit. Imma sucker for romance. I love all those thinking of yous, call to talk, just cause gifts. And I love to give them back if he's worthy. I has been only 7 months since I had a BF. Not a longtime considering but def longer than any other time in my life. Is this time for the big slow down will less men be knocking on my door trying to thrill me, romantize me, love me?
Who knows? I won't even dwell on that.
I have gone out with/hung out with 3 guys from DC (A huge NO!) who altogether would equal less than 1/2 of a person, such an ugly waste of my time, but I have been so in love, so in need of attention that I gave too much of my greatness (time!) to them and almost fell in lust with one. I t was so bad that when I met up with one of them, I wanted to
How did all this happen? It wasall because of one guy.(not one of the three losers) A man unlike me, but a lot like me too, reminded me of someone, cared. He was generally a good guy, was there to hang out with me. numerous times a week, like to text, spoke to me on the phone, cared about changing the world, was available, was excited to hang out with me whenever we met,
And treated me right.
He changed my thoughts, gave me attention, and made me want to be better and do better.
And beautifully I realized, that it is not only possible, but he did it so simply....
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